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Horse dildos have carved out a devoted following in the world of fantasy sex toys. Their thick shafts, dramatically flared heads, medial rings, and realistic equine textures deliver some truly memorable masturbation experiences.
I mean, I’m not even that into the equestrian fantasies in my daily life. This is nothing that I think about in my daily life. However, I have dreams. Some pretty wild dreams related to horses.
And, as a long-time dildo collector and an enthusiast, I had already taken my fair share of unusual dildos – tentacle dildos, ridiculously large dildos, hyperrealistic dildos, monster dildos, alien dildos…I’ve had pretty much everything in the book.
Horse dildos were one of the few lanes left to explore.
And boy what a fun lane it was to explore!
With this article, I am more than happy to share quick reviews of some of the best horse dildos that I had the pleasure of trying.
Keep in mind that everything here is body-safe.
The intense textures and sizes are the only thing you need to be aware of when tackling these beasts! As far as toxicity and build quality are concerned, you are good to go!
So, here we go.
PS: Despite being written from a perspective of a vulva-owner, horse dildos are well-loved by penis-owners as well. If you are into things like prostate stimulation
These are the best horse dildos as chosen by Sex Toy Magazine:
• Best For Squirting – “Horse Dildo from Mr. Hankey’s”
• Most Aesthetically Pleasing Horse Dildo – “Horse Dildo 2 from Mr. Hankey’s”
• The Thickest Horse Dildo – “Solatok from Mr. Hankey’s”
• Best Riding Dildo – “Lovehoney Fantasy Monster Dildo with Balls”
• Best Butt Plug – “Nothosaur IPONY”
• Craziest Textures – “Nothosaur Veylor”
Best For Squirting – “Horse Dildo from Mr. Hankey’s”
Find best offers at Mr. Hankey’s
Sizing: 4 different size options, 4 different firmness options
This one is long, stiff, and has a particularly intense head.
Seriously, that textured bulge of a tip feels super, super pronounced. The type of head where I want to play with it and slide it all over my lips before entering. And then the entrance…whew, when you feel those ridges slightly bump your clit from the inside!
And the texture remains challenging. Stiff, long, and has sets of rings running through the length. If you have a thing for a bit of a black Stallion fantasy then, well, that’s the one.
Now, as a vulva-owner, there’s one very particular reason why I included the Hankey’s horse dildo in here – it makes me squirt pretty damn reliably. Not every time, but if I am in the mood, chances are that the Hankey’s horse will get a good squirt out of me!
Needless to say that my husband enjoys this!
Why does it bring them squirts? The head stimulates the G-spot pretty well…and for most vulva-owners, G-spot stimulation is associated with a good gushing session.
Want your squirting orgasms equestrian-themed? Well, then this may be the one.
Most Aesthetically Pleasing Horse Dildo – “Horse Dildo 2 from Mr. Hankey’s”
Find best offers at Mr. Hankey’s
Sizing: 4 different size options (incl. a small version), 4 different firmness options
This is the type of toy that made me fall in love with horse dildos!
I mean, look at it!
It is hulking, veiny, thick, and shiny. A perfect example of what equestrian fantasy is all about. In fact, I sometimes simply love touching and slightly massaging it. It looks THAT tempting!
How does it feel though? Well, even if you go for the smallest size, it will still feel like a somewhat challenging ride. It is just so damn veiny and thick!
And it’s also absolutely worth it. This is the type of dildo that simply makes you want to enjoy the thickness and that filled-up feeling. My particular favorite is when I have it deep inside me and then slightly tease the more visible parts of my clit with a lubed-up finger.
This usually also brings me to an orgasm.
A type of fulfilling, warm, and filled-up orgasm.
The Thickest Horse Dildo – “Solatok from Mr. Hankey’s”
Find best offers at Mr. Hankey’s
Sizing: 3 different size options, 4 different firmness options
Solatok is the most intimidating horse in this list thus far.
When the previous specimens were also thick and textured, the Solatok takes things to another dimension. It looks almost like one big and erotic lump of jagged rocks. Very alien-like and otherworldly.
And so damn thick!
One would be justified in asking how to even take something like this?
Well, if you take it almost like a meditative experience then it can be pretty damn amazing. Super slow movements while entering and having it in. Slow breathing. Being completely in tune with your body.
Sounds hokey, but this is the only way you can manage taking something as scary as this.
And when it eventually hits, it hits pretty damn well. You will feel every damn ridge stimulate you from the inside and the overall experience is exhilarating.
Simply put, horse dildos don’t really get any more dark and strange than the Solatok.
Best Riding Dildo – “Lovehoney Fantasy Monster Dildo with Balls”
Sizing: 7.5 inches of insertable length, 6.5 inches of circumference
The next one we are looking at is so damn striking visually. It comes in purple and black coloring and looks almost galactic on my shelf.
Unusual, loud, and just so damn eye-catching. The type of thing that makes me adore the hobby of collecting weird fantasy dildos.
In terms of how it feels, this will give you a relatively realistic dildo experience.
Yes, you do have your texture variations and your massive size, but it feels much more natural to take than many other specimens on this list. Despite the somewhat insane aesthetics.
It is also my favorite horse dildo for riding. The suction cup and the fact that this one doesn’t have TOO many texture variations on it makes it a great fit for this. Just stick it on the ground, have some time for yourself, and let it enter you slowly.
Oh, and the poppy coloring has made it a popular pick among adult streamers as well – I’ve seen the Lovehoney Monster featured in cam girl streams and the like. And while I don’t know exactly how much the streamers in question make in tips, I’m pretty sure that a dildo like this is pretty alluring for viewers.
Best Butt Plug – “Nothosaur IPONY”
Sizing: 7 size options, 3 firmness options
I just had to include at least one butt plug in here.
And I think the IPONY from the legendary Nothosaur would be the best pick here. Here, you have everything you’d want in a good butt plug – namely the reliable fit and a good safe base.
However, you also have the crazy texture you’d associate with an equestrian-inspired sex toy. It has two distinct bulges. One in the head and one in the deeper end of the plug. The result is something that will give you that exhilarating, forbidden feeling you want from an extreme toy.
All the while, the IPONY remains on the accessible side of horse-inspired toys. On the smallest size, this one is much more easier to handle than pretty much anything else on this list.
My serving suggestion for IPONY? Try wearing it in public.
The two bulges on IPONY that I talked about make slight movements inside you when walking. It feels pretty damn great as the curves ever-so-slightly stimulate you from the inside.
Craziest Textures – “Nothosaur Veylor”
Sizing: 5 different size options, 2 firmness options
There’s been a lot of talk about textures in this article. As such, I’d say it is more than appropriate to finish things up with what’s arguably the craziest horse dildo texture of them all.
The Veylor from Nothasaur is, first of all, a beauty. At a glance, it looks like a runny candle. The super pronounced veins on it are placed seemingly randomly. You’ll find them on the shaft, on the head, and on the balls.
It looks wrong, but it feels heavenly.
For real, the textures on Veylor will do a number on you even if you won’t insert it. As someone that identifies as a straight female, it feels great to just slide the length of this dildo all over my vulva. Without penetration. Just a slight graze on the clit here and there.
With perhaps only a very sneaky entry with that ridiculous head.
And it just works.
I sincerely hope you enjoyed seeing just how wild and weird horse dildos can get.
Rest assured, fantasies involving horses are way more common than you may think. If you found the dildos featured in here tempting then don’t feel weirded out.
Let’s keep kink shaming a thing of the past!
My own journey went something like this – I saw horse dildos that looked intriguing and wondered how big they are and how the strange textures feel to the touch.
From there, I started thinking about how it will feel to actually have them inside me.
And it didn’t disappoint. Horse dildos are not something I’d engage with on a regular basis, but they are a fantastic treat for when I want to go for something a bit more forbidden and intense.
With that, I’ll head off to bed for today.
Take care!
