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Even after nearly a decade as a toy collector and enthusiast, I still sometimes laugh about some of the terms in this industry.
Penis milking machines? I mean, seriously.
In all seriousness though, penis milking machines are a great category. Simple, but so damn effective.
These toys are designed and built for one purpose only – to simply offer you as intense of a stimulation as possible and to empty this beautiful pair of balls of yours.
Now, what are the differences between a blowjob machine and a penis milking machine?
Well, toys categorized as blowjob machines are usually meant to somewhat simulate the feel of oral sex as precisely as possible.
Meanwhile, a penis milking machine is a male masturbator that doesn’t care about replicating anything. Here, the goal is to suck you dry. Simple as.
Also, penis milking machines are often hands-free. Not necessarily, but some of my favorites tend to be entirely hands-free. Again, the goal is to give you maximum pleasure with minimum effort on your part. Lay down, turn on a favorite clip of yours, and just enjoy the ride.
Now, y’all know I love a good best-of list. Due to this, I decided to do one for penis milking machines as well.
Here, you’ll find quick reviews of some of the current best penis milking machines out there. I included things from various price ranges and with various different specifications. All with a goal of finding a little for everyone. After all, we all deserve to get sucked completely dry from time to time.
Now, before we proceed to our reviews, let’s settle a few commonly asked questions I get on penis milking. This should help you quickly decide whether this stuff is even for you or you should go for a different toy category entirely.
What even is penis milking?
Penis milking refers to any toy or machine designed to rhythmically stimulate your penis, often hands-free, with the goal of drawing out an orgasm… or several. Think suction, squeezing, or stroking — all focused on maximum intensity with minimal effort.
Are penis milking machines safe to use?
Yes, as long as you use a toy from a reliable brand (everything in this list is completely body-safe!) and use the toy as instructed, you’ll be good to go.
Can these machines actually help with stamina or performance?
Some, like the LELO F2S, are specifically designed for it – complete with tracking and training modes. The rest? They are designed as pleasure-only devices, but you can still use them to amp up your endurance. The key here is this – penis milkers are generally more intense than a hand or a vagina. If you can last in a milker then “the real thing” may just feel like a walk in the park after a while.
It sure looks like it’s time to start with our list and our reviews.
If you are in a hurry and want to quickly skip to a penis milker that seems to tickle your fancy the most then feel free to hop right over to the review you are interested in by using the bullet points and keywords below:
• Best Stamina Training Milker – “LELO F2S“
• A Long-Distance Compatible Milker – “Lovense Solace Pro“
• Best Interactive Milker – “Kiiroo Keon + Feel Stroker“
• A Milker With The Best Grip – “Fleshlight Universal Launch“
• The Milker With The Most Intense Stroke – “The Handy“
• A Budget-Friendly Milker – “Lovense Max 2“
Best Stamina Training Milker – “LELO F2S“
NB: Use our promotional code YESPLEASE15 on check-out for 15% off!
Find our full review of LELO F2S Stamina Trainer here
Verdict: Pleasure and functionality in one toy. The LELO F2S is for the milker who also wants to make some genuine gains in overall bedroom performance.
This one is all about packing functionality and pleasure in one toy. You see, the LELO F2S is currently the best stamina training sex toy on the market.
These types of sex toys are meant to make you better in bed via giving you better control of your ejaculation and orgasms in general.
The LELO F2S comes loaded with some seriously clever tech. First off, it comes with a full-blown Kegel Exercise program in the LELO app.
The idea here is simple – use the toy and do what the guide tells you to do. It feels nice and helps you progress.
The F2S itself targets key nerve clusters and pressure zones involved in ejaculation. The stimulation feels precise, targeted…and, to put it bluntly, amazing. If you are struggling to hold your load then you WILL have a hard time enduring the wonders of the F2S. Particularly at the start.
They are serious about making you last longer though.
One of the key features of the F2S is the progress tracking program that analyzes how long you last and how you react. Basically a report card on how close you are to becoming the dominant sex god many penis-owners secretly dream of becoming.
What if you are already satisfied with your bedroom prowess though?
Well, we wouldn’t choose it as one of our favorite penis milkers if it didn’t impress in the pleasure department. The inner texture comes with liquid silicone ribs that feel so, so damn nice. Here, the focus is not on the tightness, but more on the natural fit.
Even just letting your member just sit inside feels great due to the softness. Now, add to this some smooth, rhythmic, and intuitive automatic stroking…and, well, you have yourself a beautiful little male toy.
A Long-Distance Compatible Milker – “Lovense Solace Pro“
Verdict: Best for adventurous users who want a highly interactive, hands-free ride and who don’t mind handing over a bit of control to a machine. Pro tip: Long deep house tracks from the Nineties set a fantastic rhythm to penis milking from the Solace.
Next up, we have Lovense Solace Pro. A penis milking machine from the one and only Lovense, one of the most well-known brands for various long-distance toys.
Seriously though, both Lovense male toys and Lovense vibrators for vulva-owners can handle any distance you throw at them.
Want someone from another continent to handle the toy for you? No problem. Lovense will handle it.
Back to the Lovense Solace Pro though. Yes, all the long-distance aspects are there on the app, but this one mostly impresses you with the sleeve.
Reminds me of some of the tightest and most stimulating Fleshlights like the Kumzumi and Ethereal with how intense the interior feels. Ridges, bumps, and nubs. All strategically placed to stimulate the penis from all the right areas. Feels like a tickle, but in a very, very good way.
So, this one will milk you dry even if you go for a very low intensity stroking.
In fact, I suggest more penis-owners to experience slow milking. It can feel just as good as a quick bump and dump. The Solace Pro can feel like a spiritual experience if you manage to edge yourself for a long time on lower intensities.
Oh, and it comes with an included table mount too. One that rotates according to the angle you need at the moment.
So, yeah, the hands-free aspects are there.
I couldn’t possibly go on without talking about the various fun additional perks of the Solace Pro as well though. I mean, there’s so much you can do with it – there’s syncing it to music, syncing it to voice, and even adjusting the depth of the stroke.
Despite being another relatively bulky toy (more on that later), the adjustable stroke length means that you can still use it as a penis vibrator for something like only the head of the penis.
Bottom line – a great, versatile milking machine.
If there’s a negative aspect to this one, then it would be the fact that much like the Keon, the toy we will feature next, it’s not the most compact thing. You’ll need a little space and some solid surface to get that mount positioned right.
Once you do though, there’s a loooot of fun to be had with this one.
Best Interactive Milker – “Kiiroo Keon + Feel Stroker“
Verdict: Best for tech-lovers and VR porn enthusiasts. If you’ve got the patience to learn the ins and outs of the Keon, this one’s a mind-blower.
If Tony Stark designed a penis milking machine, he would probably come up with something like the Keon from Kiiroo.
There are a lot of fun features to this penis milking machine, but the main treat here is that it’s one of the best VR sex toys currently on the market.
Simply put, The VR integration here is next-level. The stroking of Kiiroo Keon can be seamlessly synced to VR scenes – everything happening in the scene will be matched stroke-to-stroke.
With a good imagination, it can feel pretty damn close to the real thing.
Now, Kiiroo also offers several different inner sleeves (called Feel Strokers) that can be used along with your Keon. My favorites in the line-up are directly inspired by the lovely orifices of some of the most popular pornstars out there. The Kayley Gunner stroker is a personal favorite of mine, but feel free to take your pick from the many lovely ladies that have partnered up with Kiiroo.
Speaking of the stroking itself – it is intense. 230 strokes per minute is the type of intensity that is the very definition of penis milking. Oh, and just to let you know – the Keon and Feel Stroker combo just so happens to be a pretty great pick for a gooning toy as well if you are into that sort of thing.
Now, for the sake of transparency, let’s also list two potential downsides that you should consider before getting this one:
- At more than 1kg/2lbs, it’s big and bulky. You’re not tucking this one away quickly if some unexpected guest happens to show up.
- There is a learning curve for VR syncing. Sure, you can use the pre-set features and enjoy it quickly, but to get all the super fun tech features, you’ll have to go through some tinkering with this one. Luckily, the online toy communities, VR porn sites, and the Kiiroo subreddit are full of guides.
Still, Keon is a fantastic all-around male toy and one that deserves its reputation as one of the greatest milking strokers out there. For a horny tech enthusiast, this one is a dream come true.
A Milker With The Best Grip – “Fleshlight Universal Launch“
Find best offers at Fleshlight
Verdict: Best for Fleshlight fans who want a customizable, rock-steady milker with a definitive penis milking grip. Great for just laying back and getting your rocks off without any interactive bells and whistles.
Fleshlight Universal Launch is a handheld penis milking machine that you can combine with virtually all Fleshlight toys. And, well, let’s just say that there are a lot of them out there.
Whether you love a sleeve inspired by your favorite pornstar or prefer something super textured and intense…well, you can choose your sleeve and then just combine it with the Universal Launch.
This makes the Universal Launch a great long-term pick. Simply because it is hard for it to get old. You can always get a new sleeve and enjoy a toy that feels like something completely new.
The next thing I want to mention with this one is the grip. You see, it is superb.
It has two firm handles on the side. Holding it feels solid and once you get your sweet penis tucked in there will be no slipping and wiggling there. Just rock-solid, straight-up stimulation.
Oh, and similarly to Solace Pro, you can also adjust stuff like the stroke length here. May seem like a minor detail, but I’ll promise you this – if you enjoy the stimulation of a milking machine then you’ll eventually want to experiment with different stroke flavors.
So, what do we have here? Super solid and steady stroking with the best-in-class grip and plenty of variety with the endless number of different compatible toys.
If I was to point out any downsides then it would be the fact that it’s not quite as interactive as some other milkers on this list.
Yes, you do have your mount for the smartphone, but if you want to go for full-on high-tech then the previous specimens here would be a slightly better fit.
The Milker With The Most Intense Stroke – “The Handy“
Verdict: Best for users who want clean design, easy operation, and the kind of stroke speed that should probably be regulated by law. If You want sheer stroke intensity then this is your boy right here!
Right off the bat – The Handy is the most intense milking machine on this list. Here, you’ll get a whopping 600 strokes per minute. Double the effort of most other specimens of choice.
Personally, this is too much even for me. Yes, it feels good, even amazing, on an occasion. But go for this type of intensity too often and you may end up desensitizing your meat entirely.
For some super intense gooning and for simply seeing where your limits lay? Nothing better out there.
Let’s spare a few words for Scandinavian design too.
Minimal buttons, intuitive layout, and functionality that makes sense even if this is your very first penis-focused toy. Whether you’re using the app, connecting to synced adult content (yes, this one is interactive!), or just setting a manual rhythm and speed, everything here just makes sense.
In terms of sleeve, you have several available here. However, I have found that the neutral one that comes with the order seems to be the best one – it simply plays the best with the sheer intense speed that Handy brings to the table.
All in all – with a name like The Handy, you may expect something unassuming and polite. And in terms of design, that’s true. But there is a dark edge to this one too – the sheer power!
I mean, 600 strokes per minute? Yeah, this one is out there!
A Budget-Friendly Milker – “Lovense Max 2“
Verdict: Best for budget-conscious pleasure-seekers who are willing to forego the hands-off aspect and prefer a very tight type of stimulation.
Lovense Max 2 is a tried-and-tested toy in the milking machine game. And, it just so happens to be the cheapest one on this list. Don’t let the slightly cheaper (it’s still over a $100 unless you stumble upon a deal) price fool you though.
This thing comes with a very specific talent: replicating the feeling of strong, pulsing vaginal contractions while you’re deep inside. Instead of the stroking sensation, you’ll get something that’s gripping and squeezing.
In the words of Tuco from Breaking Bad – “Tight, tight, tight!”
In fact, if you are blessed with a very large member then I would suggest checking out the official measurements of the Max 2. Yes, the inner sleeve is stretchy and nice, but there are still limits to what this bad boy can accommodate.
Now, since this is yet another Lovense, you’ll also get access to the interactive features, creation of random masturbation patterns, and music/sound activation.
Personally, I slightly prefer the Lovense Solace Pro as the table mount adds a hands-free aspect and I also like adjusting the depth of pumping action. Plus, I prefer the milking sensation of Solace.
However, the Max 2 is a great entry point too. In fact, I know a lot of penis-owners who prefer the “squeeze it dry” type of a feel that the Max 2 offers.
Ultimately, up to you and your penis.
So, how’s it feel? Does penis milking seem something you might be interested in?
Honestly, these types of toys should be tried at least once by all male sex toy enthusiasts. Even if you are already satisfied with your sex life. Regarding intensity, this stuff is arguably as hot as it gets. Enter with a horny state of mind and let the milkers do their thing…and, well, the orgasm will be quite something alright. Expect lots of cum, shivering, and an excitement to experiment again in the nearest opportunity.
For me, time to wrap things up for now. See you for the next one!
