People new to BDSM are often shocked by how much symbolism there is in this fascinating world.
As I learned more and more about BDSM, I started to see this world for what it truly is – a secret society with its own set of laws, terms, and unspoken rules. Popular culture (ahem, “50 Shades of Grey”) will make it seem like BDSM is nothing more than dressing up in leather, selecting roles, and just rolling with it. The reality is quite different.
In reality, BDSM is a lifestyle. A lifestyle that anyone can try. That said, starting out can be overwhelming. So many terms, so many rules! So, how does one start? Well, you can start by learning about BDSM collars.
You see, collars in BDSM are not worn just to look the part. They are always symbolic and have a meaning to them. So, let’s get started and examine the different types of BDSM collars and what they mean.
Without further ado, here is our guide to the 7 types of collars commonly worn in BDSM:
Day collar
The day collar in BDSM is a piece that you can wear while you run your daily errands. Virtually any item that can be worn around the neck can be considered a collar if your Dom has given you this item.
Still, it is not custom for a Dom to give you a plain necklace to be worn as a collar. Usually, a day collar is something that looks like a statement piece that will get you lots of attention and compliments. But, it gets the attention for how stylish and intense it looks, not because you look like you just walked out of a BDSM scene.
The day collar is by far my favorite category of BDSM collars. Why? Simply because wearing a day collar in public is super hot. No one besides you and your Dom doesn’t have to know the significance of the collar. It can be a dirty little secret just the two of you share.
I have gone through my fair share of office jobs. Best believe that I have combined a play collar with a dress suit more than a few times. And, well…let’s just say that wearing something this sexually charged in the office gives a lot of spark to a vanilla day at work.
Permanent collar
Traditions are probably the last thing that comes to your mind when you think of BDSM relationships. The truth is, BDSM couples honor traditions just as much (if not more) as regular couples. They just play by different rules.
A permanent collar is arguably the biggest sign of commitment in a BDSM relationship. The Dom gives the Submissive a permanent collar as a sign – a sign that the relationship is serious, exclusive, and long-term.
A permanent collar is not supposed to be removed unless the couple is over. Here, a comparison with a wedding ring is more than appropriate. You will not remove the ring for good unless your marriage is over. Similarly, the permanent collar only comes off if the relationship is over for good.
A permanent collar is similar to the play collar in the sense that it can be worn in public as well. You have to keep this on, remember?
Some BDSM enthusiasts say that a permanent collar is “not real” if you can’t take it off without a key. I don’t agree. I am a practical woman. And, while I enjoy being “owned” by my partner, I have to consider scenarios where I quickly have to get the thing off for something like medical reasons.
Play collar
Play collar marks the start of a scene. Your Dom will put a play collar on you…and from that point on, you are his/her slave. Since the play collar is only worn at the time of the scene, it also allows the fantasies of the couple to roam wild.
Here, you do not have to think practically since a BDSM scene does not last forever. Doms often prefer to mark their Submissives with seriously kinky collars – think chains, black leather, and elaborate designs.
Play collar is arguably the most important part of a BDSM scene. It means that for this scene, you are utterly owned by your Dom. Without the consent of a Dom, it is often even forbidden for the Submissive to speak to other people involved in the scene.
In a nutshell – the play collar signifies that the Submissive is completely owned by the Dom during the scene.
Training collar
The name of this type of collar signifies exactly what it is for – training. This collar is typically given by the Dom as a part of the training process.
A training collar is usually not worn in a real BDSM scene. Instead, a training collar is worn when you are training for a scene. Of course, the rules are set by the Dom. For example, if visiting a BDSM club is considered to be a part of the training process, a collar such as this can be worn in a real scene as well.
Now, what should a training collar look like? Again, the rules are made by the Dom. If the Dom calls it a training collar and hands it to a Sub, it is a training collar.
That said, most Doms prefer the training collar to be an item that can’t be easily worn in public. So, do not expect to wear pearl necklaces and other cute neckwear as a training collar.
Camo collar
A camo collar can be anything. It can be a necklace, a bow tie, a more traditional BDSM collar, or even a wedding ring. In that sense, a “camo collar” is just a term. This item does not have to be a collar at all.
The idea behind the “camo collar” is that it can be worn whenever and wherever. There is nothing “suspicious” about this symbol. Plus, no one has to know about it.
Credit for inventing this term goes to the legendary LA Sub, Lina Dune. Feel free to look up her work on her official site, you will not be disappointed. This stuff is almost mandatory for anyone looking to learn about being a Submissive.
Protection collar
As the name implies, this collar in BDSM is a sign that the Sub is protected by the Dom.
In BDSM circles, this means that other Dominants will know that this Sub is under the protection of another Dominant. A sub wearing the protection collar is off-limits to other people in the BDSM community.
Protection collar is serious business. It is not given out lightly by the Sub. And, when it is given out, it is usually a sign that the relationship is indeed serious.
When it comes to the look of a protection collar, there are no concrete rules to how it needs to look. However, most Dominants prefer the collar to have some sort of symbol that marks ownership of the Sub wearing it. Usually in the form of a name sign.
Collar of consideration
A collar of consideration is a mark that the Submissive is under review. It is a sign that the Dom has not decided whether the relationship with the Submissive will be long-term or not.
Usually, collars of consideration are not given out to people totally new to BDSM. It might get a bit confusing for someone too green to the world of BDSM. Complete newbies commonly receive a training collar instead.
Looks like it’s time to wrap things up. Hopefully, you enjoyed reading my quick guide to BDSM collars.
As you saw, a seemingly unimportant detail like a collar can have a whole story behind it. And, collars are just the tip of the iceberg of BDSM symbolism. I will be writing about many more similar articles about BDSM in the near future. So, stay tuned for more!
