We hear about fantasies of getting dominated regularly. In these scenarios, women usually get dominated by some mysterious dark-haired business tycoon in his twenties. Well, not a bad fantasy to be fair.
However, have you ever thought about switching things around? SERIOUSLY switching things around. To the extent that your dear man is not able to express himself sexually in any physical way.
What I am talking about here is putting the husband into chastity. Just think about it – you are in COMPLETE control for a given period of time. Sounds great? Well, read on as I will give you some tips on how to start with chastity, what kind of sex toys you need, and how to make this little experiment successful for both you and your husband.
5 Things To Do Before Putting The Husband Into Chastity
Ease your husband into chastity with gentle conversation
Trust me, you will not get far when you hit the poor guy with an “I want to put your c*ck in a cage and keep the key” out of the blue.
Instead, you need to start slow. Talk about what you love about your sex life and compliment him on what he does well. Once you have set the mood, talk about your fantasy of having total control of the relationship.
See how he reacts and what he thinks about it. Do not mention cages and keys just yet, just gauge his reaction. If he seems to react with enthusiasm, then the idea just might float well. If he is completely against giving up control, then don’t push.
Establish a safe word
This is absolutely crucial. People familiar with any kind of BDSM practice already know what safe words are and why they are so important.
In a nutshell, a safe word is something the poor husband in chastity uses when he has had enough. Truly enough. If he whines, let him whine. If he begs, let him beg. You are the boss UNTIL the safe word is used.
A safe word can be anything you guys decide. One suggestion though – do not use a word that is too common. If you choose a word like “apple”, the husband might accidentally use the word and ruin the experience.
Also, make sure to emphasize that the safe word should only be used when things have truly reached their limit. It is not true domination if the husband in chastity uses the word on the first sign of discomfort.
Establish a reward system
You are the boss here! If your poor husband in chastity does what you want him to do and does it well…then the poor boy deserves a reward. How you choose to reward him is up to you. You can let his c*ck breathe for some time, you can shorten the time his member has to stay in a cage.
If he acts really, and I mean REALLY good, you can also have sex with him, give him a blowjob, or let him jerk off. Just remember that an orgasm is an ultimate reward. A reward that will probably result in him lasting less than a minute and blowing a ridiculously massive load. Remember that the poor dude has built up a massive amount of sexual frustration from the chastity act.
Make sure that there are no medical conditions that prevent success
Look, I do not have a medical background. So, frankly, I have no idea about the diseases and conditions that could prevent a couple from succeeding with this practice. In all likelihood, your man will be aware of any conditions that could prevent him from participating in chastity acts. If so, he will probably let you know and you guys will find other ways of exploring some more dark sexual stuff – for instance, you might consider trying BDSM.
Now, you do not jump into the deep end of the pool for practicing swimming. Similarly, you will also not lock the penis of your husband for a week if you guys have no previous experiences with chastity.
My suggestion is to start slow – for example, let’s say that both of you guys are at home and free on a Saturday. Well, let this Saturday be the first day where the dude has to be in chastity for the entire day. See how it feels for both of you – if you found genuine benefits in this experience, feel free to put your husband in chastity for a longer time during the next session.
5 Reasons For Putting The Husband Into Chastity
Since you are reading this, you probably already have a reason or two for wanting to put your husband into chastity. If you are still on the fence, here are some common reasons people experiment with chastity devices:
Sexual frustration does wonders for the sex drive
Let’s say that your husband is starting to lose interest in you. The sexual spark is gone. This is common after a while, right? True, but this doesn’t mean that it has to stay that way.
By caging your man up, you will take his opportunity to sexually express himself. Combine this with the fact that he is in a sexually new situation and you have a recipe for a hell of a libido increase.
Oh, and the longer the man is in chastity, the more intense his sex drive will be.
Chastity allows the man to get in touch with his feminine side
Many men report getting more in touch with their feminine sides after being in chastity for extended periods of time. I mean, it makes sense – the male sexual energy is powerful and dominant. If you suddenly put chains on this energy, things are bound to change.
With limited access to his sexuality, a man might start to explore hidden areas of himself. Such as his feminine side. This, in return, can lead to greater feelings of spiritual wellness and a greater self-understanding. Whew, who would’ve thought that locking a c*ck in a cage can lead to something so deep!
It will empower you!
When your husband is in chastity, you hold all of the sexual power in the relationship. That said, this goes further than just sexual power. As you hold the keys (literally!) of the entire dynamic of the relationship, you will soon see that this affects the other areas of your life as well.
You will probably feel empowered in all areas of your life – this includes work, all personal relationships, and your overall feeling of well-being.
It is hard to describe exactly what this rush feels like, so you are just going to have to test the waters yourself.
The sexual rewards
We previously talked about the reward system – the husband does something well and can earn some out-of-the-cage as a reward.
Well, you can turn this into your benefit. Make it all about YOUR pleasure – for example, if he wants out of the cage, he must eat you out as well as he possibly can. Make sure that he knows that if you will not receive a mind-blowing orgasm, he will stay in chastity. Trust me, with his c*ck on the line, his efforts will be taken to the next level.
Similarly, you can pick something else you like. As long as it doesn’t involve his c*ck, everything is fair game. This is your chance to make it all about you!
Productivity increase in men
Many men report gaining a heightened sense of productivity from being in chastity. Makes sense though. All of that pent up energy must be released somehow. So, do not be surprised when that c*ck cage all of the sudden turns your man into a force of nature.
What Items and Sex Toys Do You Need?
In the following, let’s go through a quick checklist of the things you will need for that chastity action to succeed.
A chastity cage
I mean, this one is quite obvious, right? While there are some reports of men crafting their very own chastity cages and being happy with the results, this is not something I would recommend.
Go for a professional device and everything will be much safer. For some concrete product suggestions, head over to our article on the best chastity cages. There, you will find our highest-rated cages, how to use them, and how to choose a cage according to your chastity scenario.
A femdom outfit
This one is not necessarily a requirement. However, it makes things much more fun! By looking like a Dominant, you will also feel much more powerful and daring.
Just think about it – your poor partner is in chastity while you look like the meanest, sexiest, most powerful woman on the planet. Pro tip – only show him your outfit once the penis is locked!
Feel free to check out our article on the best dominatrix outfits. There, you will find some fiercely dark looks from all price ranges and for all sizes and tastes.
A female sex toy of your choice
If you want to take things to the next level, then have fun with your favorite sex toy. Right in front of him. While he is caged! This will probably drive him nuts, but in the best way possible. Remember that he is not gonna be caged forever, so don’t feel sorry for the husband.
If you already have a special favorite, then use that one. If you need some inspiration or want to buy something new, then have a look at the following articles for some ideas:
All of the toys in these lists perform well and look good. This makes them an ideal fit for using them in front of the husband in chastity.
A male sex toy
So, you both have some toys you love? Fantastic! If the partner in chastity has been a good boy, then you can tease him with one of his toys. Try something like this – let his c*ck out of the cage for a minute or two. Some breathing time.
Now, remeber that your man is still not allowed to have sex with you or even touch you. What you should do is grab a good male sex toy and stimulate him for a minute or two. Give him a little teaser of the sexual experience but dont let him orgasm. Teasing with a sex toy will motivate him to behave during the chastity experience. Just to get out of the cage faster.
What kind of toy would I recommend? A Fleshlight is probably the best bet here – it is a toy that you can easily control, which makes it a good fit for scenarios where you need to dominate.
If your husband doesn’t already have a Fleshlight, then check out our rankings of different Fleshlights and pick something that he would love. Oh, and don’t worry or get jealous, your p*ssy is still better than any Fleshlight. I promise!
What happens after the chastity action is just as important as what happens during it.
So, what do you expect will happen after you finally release your man from the grips of the cage? If he has spent a long time in chastity, he will probably want a release. Preferably right away. So, if you are in the mood, prepare for some wild sex. If you are not, let the poor man get his release by masturbating.
Now, once everything has settled a bit, you need to communicate. Did your partner enjoy what happened? Did you? Encourage him to be as honest as possible. If the experience was bad for him, then try to understand exactly what went wrong. If it is fixable, then try again in the future. If it just wasn’t his thing, then no worries – chastity is not for everyone.
Looks like it’s a wrap for today. Putting your husband in chastity might seem weird at first, but many couples swear by it. Thus, I highly encourage you to try it out. The worst that can happen is that you will have an experience to laugh about in the future.
Goodbye for now and see you for the next article!